In 1968, author and educator Bill Milliken write a book entitled “Tough Love,” a topic he defined as treating someone harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run. The concept is often applied to teenagers or troubled family members. For example, if you are the parents of a teen who has a drug problem, the parent shows tough love by refusing to enable that destructive behavior – by cutting off the teen’s access to money, perhaps by forcing the teen to enter a rehab facility or go through other treatments. You show your love by doing something that – to the teen, at least – seems cruel and unloving. But the parent knows that this seemingly harsh treatment is being done out of love for that child, to help that child get the treatment and ultimately the healing that he or she needs.
In today’s Gospel lesson, Jesus is talking about a different type of “tough love.” It doesn’t quite fit the pattern and description given to it first by Bill Milliken and later by so many other authors, but it truly is a kind of love that is tough for any human being – really, really tough. Tougher than any love that we could possibly ever imagine.
When someone does something bad to you, your first reaction is probably not to show any kind of love at all towards that person. If someone hurts you or harms you or cheats you, what’s the first thing you think of? Could it be getting even? Getting back at that person, doing something bad to him because he did something bad to you? Getting even is something we’ve all done at one time or another, and let’s face it – for a while, at least, it can feel pretty good. And even worse, it is something that comes all too easily to most people. Just think back to your childhood. You can only put up with the class bully for so long before you start thinking of ways to get him – and get him good. If you had a friend who told lies about you, did you perhaps start telling a few stories yourself that were also untrue? When Sharon and I lived in Houston we saw many instances of road rage – people getting angry and driving like fools and endangering everyone else on the road because someone had cut them off or tailgated them.
Both you and I could think of any number of instances when either we or someone we know has tried to get even with someone else. But then we run into words like the words of Jesus from today’s Gospel lesson: “But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Love your enemies? Pray for them? Where’s the fairness in that, Jesus? It just doesn’t seem right.
And it only seems to get worse. Listen again to what Jesus says: “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles… You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
If you really listen to them, these words of Jesus force us to step back and take a good, long look at ourselves. Take an honest look in the mirror of God’s truth. Be prepared first to be shocked at what you see, and then to be even more upset about your reaction. What was Jesus thinking when He said all those words about loving our enemies? That kind of love is far too tough – and too unrealistic – for any normal human being. There are times when we find it hard to love even our closest friends and relatives. And we’re supposed to love our enemies?
Well, yes, that is exactly what Jesus is saying. And we don’t like it – we don’t want to hear it – because we know we can’t do it. Deep down inside our hearts are filled with nothing but dark and disgusting corruption – the corruption of sin. By our very nature, our hearts don’t want to love other people because we ultimately want to love ourselves above anything and anyone else. It’s human nature, we tell ourselves, to watch out for number one – numero uno – ourselves. We’re not going to let anyone take advantage of us. Even the slightest injustice or wrong balloons into a major insult. We insist that people should treat us fairly and – indeed – with love, but we get all bent out of shape when other people expect us to treat them fairly and with love.
Of course, that’s not the mirror image that we want others to see, so we hide the ugly truth behind a false front that tries to fool everyone else. We quickly learn how to say just the right things when we have to. We learn how to do the right things when we have to. But these aren’t things – they’re not works – that flow from our faith. They are not things that are shaped by a true and honest love for others. Remember – that kind of love is just too tough. Hidden behind that smile and those seemingly kind words is a heart that is cold and shriveled and, ultimately, dead in its sin.
What a contrast – what a truly unbelievable contrast – with the loving heart that God has shown to us! His heart is filled with love for His children – for us – who have chosen love of self over love for one’s neighbor and often over love for our God. After all, it is only by His grace that we can be called His children. We have wandered so far from Him and rejected Him so many times by our thoughts and our words and our deeds – but no matter how sinful and evil our behavior was, God never turned His back on us. God never set out to “get even.” Though we were by nature enemies of God, He paid the ultimate price for us through the death of His Son. There, on that cross, the guiltless one died for the guilty. The sinless one died for all sinners.
When the accusers of Jesus hurled their hate and insults at Him, He did not respond even in self-defense. When they struck Him, He didn’t strike back. Instead, He prayed for His enemies: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Though He could have come down from the cross at any time, He did not. He bore our guilt, our shame, our punishment until the end.
So what are we supposed to do – what do we actually do – when we hear Jesus say: “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” in the final words of our Gospel reading? Do we despair, knowing that this kind of love is just too tough, is simply beyond our capability? Do we become cynical, asking how God could make this kind of totally unreasonable demand of us?
Or do we turn to Jesus, the guiltless one, and understand that God the Father has found favor in His Son, that God the Father has accepted the perfect sacrifice of His own Son in our stead? This, ultimately, is where our perfection lies – not in striving to achieve our own moral perfection, but in rejoicing that Jesus is not just the one who fights for us, but is also the one who now lives and reigns in our lives. In Christ, we can turn the other cheek rather than seeking revenge. Having been united with Christ in His death and resurrection in Holy Baptism, we can love one another – we can love even our enemies. Feasting on Christ’s death-destroying body and life-giving blood in the Lord’s Supper, we receive a foretaste of the eternal perfection that will be ours, for already – even now – Christ dwells in us and we dwell in Him.
And this truly does make a difference in the way that we relate to one another, friends and enemies alike. Instead of revenge, we pray for those who persecute us. Instead of trying to get even with those who have wronged us, we love one another – even as God in Christ loves us.
Our Lord has promised that this selfless love – the love we used to think was so tough – will come easily. When we remain in Christ and receive the blessings of His selfless love for us, then in Him we truly will begin to enjoy the perfection that awaits us on the Last Day.
Note: This sermon has been freely adapted from a text that originally appeared in Concordia Pulpit Resources.
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